三大爷

七十有余的老李，每天都会在午后的窗前，抽烟独坐，打发着时光。 厨房里的水滴声、对面楼顶栖息的两只鸽子以及时而铺洒进来的阳光，才会让老李感觉到有生命的东西在陪伴。 在大多数的时间，他的情感因为电视的情节而波动，甚至去寻找自己断断续续的回忆。 但这一切都是沉默的暗流，只有燃烧的香烟在玩味他的五味杂陈，只有墙上的全家福在寄托他的人生起落，只有那循环走动的壁钟在关注他的生活起居。 老李在孤独地挣扎！这种挣扎不光是身体，更可怕的是心灵！ 年轻时落下的腿伤，又开始在这个季节周年的发作；搬运重物时突然造成的腰伤，让他坐后去躺着，躺后又坐着。 他忍受着疼痛，看病、买菜，自己简单地照料自己。 自己的生活也是社会的观照。简陋的居民小区诊所，却是科学与宗教的矛盾统一体；小孩的打针不怕疼和老李怕打针，却是老人心理向孩童的回归。 唯一快乐的，便是在90岁的老母亲家，那里有共同的话题与黑色的回忆，与哥哥分享他所看到的公园里骂国家领导人的老人们的场景，与母亲回忆父亲，回忆逃难时光，母亲说起那会的红军、黑军都是八路军，也会欺负他们，老李不知道该如何接受，那里有母慈子孝和兄爱弟敬。 在出租屋内，唯一说话的，便是手机铃声响起的那一刻，可这样的机会一天都未必会有一次；亦或者是那菜市场的询价交易，亦或者是偶尔来家的熟人给介绍老伴，让老李更添几分对家庭的回忆。 又是一个新年，在经常理发的那家居民楼理发店里，差不多年岁的老李和理发师轻描淡写地谈论着。夜幕下的他，剪净了发丝，理发师儿子的归来却让老李又增添了落寞。 而在那鞭炮阵阵的除夕之夜，团圆在他的世界有两个概念，一个是全家，另一个还是全家。 在文化的跪拜和祖先的拜祭中，他倾听着母亲的生后安排，感受着弟兄的真诚关心。 可一切都那么短暂，回归出租屋的他，只能看着晚会里勾勒的梦，而渐渐地远离自己的梦。 一切，新年如旧，“孑”影伴孤灯。

Li is over 70 years old, he sits in front of his window in the afternoon every day and smokes the cigarette to pass the time. The sound of water drops in the kitchen, two pigeons are roosting on roof of the opposite building, and the sunshine comes into the room, which make Li feel alive. His emotions usually could be fluctuated with the plot of the TV programmes, because he even could find out his own fitful memories from it. However, all of this is the undercurrent of silence to him. The burnning cigarette is the only thing to recall his memories. A family photo on the wall is the only thing to highlight the rise and fall of his life. The wall clock’s ticking is the only thing to take care his living. Li is struggling with loneliness! This struggle is not only physical, but also the psychological. The leg which was injured in his youth has begun pained during this time, which makes him feel restless. He has to suffer from pain for seeing the doctor, buying food, and simply taking care of himself. His own life is also a reflection of society. The humble community clinic is the contradictory unity of science and religion. The child is not afraid of pain from the injection but Li was frightened of, which express the psychological return from seniors to children. Visiting his 90 years old mother is the only cheerful thing to him, because he has more common topic and miserable memories with her, and he told his brother that he saw many senior people in the park gossiped national leaders. He and mother talked about his father, and they both recalled the period of fleeing. His mother told him the Red Army and ‘black’ army all were the Eight Route army, and they also bullied civilians. However, Li did not know how to accept what mother told him. In his rental place, the only thing can make the sound is his cellphone which rarely rings. Bargaining the grocery market, and friends matchmake him with other women, which make him recall memories about his family. Another New Year festival is coming. In a patronise regularly barber shop, he is talking with a barber who has the similar age. Li gets a haircut at night, but the barber son’s return makes Li feel lonely again. The sound of firecrackers is all around in the New Year's eve. There were two concepts of family reunion in his mind. One was is the whole family, another one also is the whole family. During worshipping of the ancestors, he listened to his mother's arrangements and felt sincere concern from his brother. However, happy time was so short. After he returned to his rental place, the only thing that he can do is to look at the dream which was outlined in the New Year's Gala, and which gradually away from his dream. Everything just was the same as the past in this new year, he was still feel so lonely.